My Introduction

I am a 37 year old with a full residence order and parental responsibility order for my daughter. She has lived with me since her first birthday.

Hi,

I'm 40 with a (very nearly) 6 year old daughter, i've been a single Dad since she was 2

Welcome to the forum stock

Do you have full custody? Does your daughter see her mum at all?

My daughter hasn't seen her mum for 4 years now which is a pity. I found that having positive female role models in her life helps.

Courts had no involvement, her mother walked out due to Post Natal Depression.

I did everything from day 1 including all the bonding.

Little one doesn't see her mother anything near regular, the last time was for 2 hours on Boxing day............she might see her toward the end of Feb....allegedly!!

I agree about positive female roles..........but......i can paint nails! we bake cakes..........if i'm unluckly i have to eat one

Probably like yourself, i do both roles..........rather well actually

I could not imagine her not being with me.........i'm so lucky

I've had to learn a lot about doing hair and other girl stuff too

Yeah, being a single father does mean having to be both mum and dad; challenging but very rewarding too.

I understand the feeling lucky part, I'm also very proud of my daughter, as you must be too. She is a hapy girl, well adjusted, doing well at school and a full on chatterbox. Her mum had similar issues with depression and was against my having custody, hence spending 13 months at the family courts. It was a messy process but seems to have turned out for the best.

Wow 13 months in family courts that must have been tough.......justice prevailed though!

Same for me, very proud, very happy normal little girl......very chatterbox too!!
loves to shop for shoes we have a cupboard full of them.

Why no contact for 4 years, must be tough on Little one, mine asks questions get given answers, but understands more as she does see her mother sometimes and the visit is a letdown or just plain crap!! which affects me more than her, as she doesn't know any different.

Also why are all story books either "mum and dad" or just "mum" i've only ever found 1 "dad" book........

Family courts can be unfairly biased in favour of mum most of the time. Thankfully I got custody though.

Mums'contact with our daughter was hit and miss during the first 2 years. She met some guy from Bournemouth and moved down that way. That was pretty much the last I heard from her apart from that she'd had to give up the kid she had with him; scary

Mum knows where we are and can have contact if she wishes. As she hasn't made any effort I assume she's not that interested. It has affected me quite a bit but she seems fine with just me. I will answer her questions over the years and I've kept the court papers as well.

As for books, I think mum is still seen as the main carer, whether both parents together or not. Fathers tend to get a raw deal when it comes to raising their children, especially as a single father. That was one of the reasons for starting the website; to find other single fathers and share tips and stories. Also I think single fatherhood is very underground and I wanted single fathers to come forward and be part of society.

Fair play........i could've done with finding a site like this when i became a single dad, i felt on my own with it all, i had people around me, but it wasn't the same i could have done with another single dad who understood all my fears etc

I found going to play centres was tough.....all women chatting, i would just sit there feeling like i had 2 heads, try to make conversation and get blanked. I counldn't care less now.......i got used to it!!!!

It was all the stuff like potty training, cot to bed transition and holidays on my own, i didn't want to ask a woman (not even my mum!) so i trawled the internet, and done it all on my own............very proud of myself when i watch her run a round.

The one thing that gets my back still is at weekends, we go on days out and people think i'm a weekend dad, i've had a few comments and i felt the need to put them straight, again i couldn't care less now, but its strange how all that socail acceptabilty stuff bothered me then.

I race a car once a month, little one has a day with my parents so i get a little time to myself.

We live in Bournemouth!! hows that for wierd!

Same here with websites; I would have had an easier time if I'd known more single fathers whether online or in real life.

Toddler groups can be very difficult with regard to talking to mums. The mums I have talked to have a similar problem; I think sometimes it's assumed that your giving mum a break and the same applies with the 'weekend dad' tag. I'm in the same position now as I'm not bothered what peole think of me or the barbed comments I get sometimes.

Car racing? I guess thats where you get your username from. I play guitar and hope to join a band at some stage.

Small world with you living in Bournemouth